x/~Our scars remind us that the past is real~\x

1:43PM

I am a parent and was looking for something I could believe in. I found it. I am proud of whom I work with, and what they do. And even better, I get to work from home the way I want to, with my child by my side. No selling, stocking, or delivering products; and we don’t have to run around chasing people. Let me share with you what is changing my life. For more info visit http://www.motivatedmoms.net/cgi-bin/team.cgi?id=Am337&action=show

11:16PM - Just because I never update...

I never update here, so here's the journal where I DO update lol

www.greatestjournal.com/users/spongesocks

Enjoy! lol
~Amanda

12:01AM - doo dooo doooo lol

A	Astonishing
M	Meek
A	Altruistic
N	Neglected
D	Dirty
A	Accurate

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

11:58PM - randomness...lol

"ACHTUNG!

sinnerinside may actually be a spider-human hybrid

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com


haha thanks tabi :D lol

THIS WAY UP á

Amanda has fragile contents which may break!

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

4:38PM - =D..it's me, it's me lol

Wow...I haven't updated in a long time lol

But here I am now, so here goes lol.

On Saturday, I have an appointment to go and look at a place in Peterborough @ 10:00 am. The place sounds pretty cool and there's lots of room so that's good. I think that right now I would go for anything anyways...I just wanna go lol. The rent on this place is fairly good tho and saving money is always awesome!! lol.

Today I got a really bad sunburn :(. It hurts a little bit but I really enjoyed laying in the sun all day so I'm not really complaining lol. Tomorrow I gotta get out in the sun again and burn my other side lol.

Umm...tonight is card night...yay...lol. I have a good feeling...maybe I'll actually win tonight lol. But not likely....cuz I hardly ever do :( lol. Oh well..the 'faith' is there lol

Ok this is a pretty boring update but I can't help it lol Not that much has been happening lately and the stuff that has happened that would be worth writing about, I just want to keep to myself...for now anyways lol. Anyways by the sounds of things, it's time for supper so I guess I better go :D

~Amanda

12:37AM - :(

How do I begin to stop loving you?
How do I go on by letting go?
How do I pretend I know what to do?
And deep inside I know that I don't.

My heart is weak
Too tired to sleep
I'm incomplete
Like a day without sunshine
God only knows
This faded soul will stand alone
Waiting on sunshine.

How do I forget to remember you?
To tell me how to mend a broken heart
How can I explain what I'm going through?
It's like trying to find a shadow in the dark.

1:46AM - boredom...lol

Dream Girl You scored 65% Estrogen, 78% Grace, 92% Sexiness, and 68% Intelligence!

You have a realistic sense of your femininity so that you can still hold rational conversations about things other than hair. Plus, you're sexy and kind to everyone you meet. When you walk into a room, people are sure to look and smile. You go, girl!

This test tracked 4 variables. How the score compared to the other people's: Higher than 87% on Estrogen Higher than 71% on Grace Higher than 70% on Sexiness Higher than 31% on Intelligence

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Link: The WOMAN Test written by monkeyonfire on Ok Cupid

12:56AM - Just a thing.

Three things
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. randomness
2. tattoos
3. mind/thoughts
THREE THINGS YOU HATE/DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. inability to say what I really mean
2. inability to say what I'm really feeling
3. mind/thoughts (...it works both ways)
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Native
2. Scottish
3. Canadian
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. love
2. failure
3. change
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY NECESSITIES:
1. coffee
2. shower
3. music
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. NY hat (bad hair day)
2. 'doctor' shirt
3. glow in the dark tongue ring
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR ARTISTS AT THE MOMENT:
1. Sublime
2. Nickelback
3. Our Lady Peace
FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Still Not a Player- Big Pun & Fat Joe
2. Behind Blue Eyes- Limp Bizkit
3. Put it in my Mouth- Akinyele
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. i'll try anything once
2. as long as its new
3. and is something im remotely interested in doing
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (Love is a given):
1. fun/spontaneity
2. meaningful
3. permanent lust ;)
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (Guess which one's the lie?)
1. I couldn't care less what happens
2. I can't wait to leave
3. Eggs are gross
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. smile
3. facial hair (mm hmm lol)
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. whistle
2. cartwheels
3. give up
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. anything with my friends

2. listening to music
3. internet
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. smoke one
2. move sooner (like right now)
3. scream
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. paralegal
2. legal administration
3. law clerk
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. london
2. somewhere hot (...but interesting)
3. anywhere but here
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO TO UNIVERSITY:
1.
2.
3.
THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Heaven Leigh
2. Ashton Ryan
3.  Ryan
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. make my dreams come true
2. accomplish something huge
3. take every chance that comes my way

12:12AM - Don't look back.

Oh yeah...I'm pretty horrible at this whole update thing. oh well....

 Tonight my Mother confronted me on the moving out plan. It was totally unexpected and caught me really off-guard. I just said yeah, i've been thinking about it... She freaked out, and now were not speaking to each other. I don't know why she is having such big issues with me leaving. We are obviously having problems living together and its a normal thing for someone to do...where is the support that parents are supposed to be so good at giving? Her exact words were 'well if you want to fuck up your life, you go right ahead but don't come crawling back here'. It's good to know that that's how she sees me, I always knew no one in my family really had faith. That sentence will stay in my head for a long time and only make me work harder to succeed at everything I do. She won't get the satisfaction of seeing me fuck anything up. I don't even know how to put into words how I am feeling about the whole situation between me and her but it definitely hasn't weakened my want to move.

wow...i really feel like I'm not making a lot of sense here...everything is so jumbled in my head.

I could probably write on and on and on about the whole thing but its a waste of time, really. I'm just going to do what I feel is right for me and no one else. Life is change.

 

11:54PM - Nothing much.

 Well yesterday I was in a very good mood, today not so much. Yesterday we made an appointment to go and see a place in Peterborough. We go Saturday to look at it 10:00 am. I really can't wait to go and I hope that its what we want. If we like it, its available for July 1 so I guess that means that I have just over two months and then I'll be leaving. I haven't mentioned a word about it to Mom yet...I'm kind of afraid too. I think she might get mad at me, even though its a normal thing for a teenager to do. I mean we grow up and move out, right? I just don't think that she is ready to 'cut the apron strings' yet. So, while on one hand I am super excited about the whole moving to Peterborough thing and the prospect that there will be so many more things for me to do and I'll have my freedom, freedom is what I need. On the other hand, this is a really major thing that I am doing...transferring to a new (and way bigger!) school, moving out on my own for the first time, moving to the 'city'..wow...its almost overwhelming. So right now I am just kind of 'going with the flow' trying not to think too much about anything...or anybody. I just want to enjoy life at the moment because within these next couple of months there are going to be some difficult times...but I have faith. *deep breath*

Amanda 

1:51AM - Just A Thing....

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be faded to telling only lies
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain woe
Can show through

No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes